Frequently Asked Questions
The Boy With No Shoes
Did you ever trace your father?
Yes, but only after my mother died. She left sufficient clues in her papers for me to track down who he was via the internet. The story is told indirectly in the sequel THE MAN WHO FEARED RAIN (as yet unpublished) but here I can say that I was nearly twenty years too late. He died, in England (though he was Polish) in 1985. The saddest irony of it was that unknown to either of us my first job in London in 1966 took me daily past his door. He had escaped to England in 1940 following Poland’s defeat by the Germans in 1939 leaving his wife and two daughters behind. He lived with my mother for two years and my brother Barnaby (Michael in BOY) and myself were the result.
How do you feel about it now?
Sad but relieved to know the background. When I discovered I had half sisters and corresponded with one of them I was unsurprised to find that he was something of a ladies' man. Whatever else, I know he gave my mother pleasure and support at a time she needed it. Naturally I would give anything to have known him but the older I get the more I suspect he may have not quite lived up to the dream... too driven, too bookish, too easily bored by children - rather like me in fact!
What about Harriet? Did you meet her again?
Well, her name wasn’t Harriet in real-life. Yes, we met again but life moves on and each of us was very different. Our youth seemed a long way away and by then it was hard to imagine that we had ever been intimate.
Is Stoning a real place?
It’s my name for Deal in Kent where I went to live in 1954 after living in nearby Walmer from 1949. Both houses I lived in are still there: 20, The Beach, Walmer (now flats); and 10 Golden Street, North Deal (now done up in the way Ma always wanted). Much later I lived in 18 Griffin Street, North Deal. To this day once or twice a year I feel an urge to go down to Deal, walk along the sea front, gaze at my old homes and haunts, have a coffee and experience the place again. I usually end my trips by throwing pebbles into the sea and walking along the Peir which, it has to be said, is one of the ugliest in Britain. But the town still has me in its grip which I don’t regret at all. But I think to a stranger it would seem a dull, backward, run-down sort of place. I regard myself as lucky to have been raised in a town so rich in history and change.
What about your School?
I went to Sir Roger Manwood’s Grammar School, Sandwich. I’ve had a lot of letters from old pupils confirming, more or less, my description of the place; and some from parents too, grateful that BOY explained a few things they had never understood – their children being, as I was (like most children!) non-communicators about things that matter emotionally.
How do you feel about the school now?
It had its limitations and some poor (meaning negative and silly) teaching. But I was lucky enough to have not one but two great teachers – Brian Kennett for history and David Warwick for English, both of whom affected my life for the better forever. Brian Kennet’s 6th Form lessons on Napoleon were literally unforgettable – masterly expositions of character, influence, historical method, story telling, everything history should be. David Warwick, by the magic I describe in BOY, simply made me believe in myself and love his subject. There were more good teachers than bad and I am grateful that was the era of compulsory games – rugby, cricket, athletics – all of which I enjoyed. So... I feel good about the school. Perhaps in those days teachers were able to be much more true to themselves than political correctness sometimes allows them to be now – and all had been through the war in one way or another and that was a profound experience which found expression in their teaching, for good and ill.
How did your childhood experience affect you as a father?
Negatively, I would say. I’ve had six children from two marriages (well, three, but one was short-lived and produced no children). Perhaps if I had written BOY sooner I would have understood my own behaviour and problems communicating with my children better. I always found it hard to play with my children, maybe because I never had a father who showed me how. It’s unfashionable to describe oneself as a ‘bad’ parent but I could have been, and could still be, a lot better.
Is BOY ‘true’?
Psychologically speaking, yes. Historically (ie names of people, detailed events etc etc) much less so. The reason for this is to do with the way the written word communicates. Words that convey only literal truth via the facts and carefully hedged around statements usually fail completely to convey the emotional truth and impact of events, especially on children. That’s why so many biographies and autobiographies are so very bad at conveying anything emotionally meaningful about the lives they describe. If I had stuck to the literal truth about Granny in BOY most readers would not have understood the profound importance she had for me, or her real character. Similarly the final chapters about Captain Flax are exaggerated to make an emotional/psychological point (and incidentally to bring some healing to those who suffered under his regime). In retrospect I half wish the book had been published as a novel but I allowed myself to be persuaded otherwise by agent and publisher. The sequel will be put out as a novel, although some of it is true in the strict sense this question means.
Why did you write such a profoundly personal book?
First, as psychotherapists who have written to me have usually understood, I needed to publish it for my own healing whatever the consequences. Secondly, because I had my last four children later in life, it’s likely I’ll be dead before they feel the need to talk to me about the past. I know what not having your father there to talk to feels like. BOY is my way of giving my children something they may feel a deep need for when I’m gone, and maybe my grandchildren will benefit too. It may help them understand themselves as adults. Only after I finished BOY did I discover that my real father – The Man Who Was – did write down his life story. It meant a great deal to me to be able to read it, though I’m sure when he wrote it he had no idea I ever would.
You mention ‘consequences’? How did your family react to BOY?
Very, very badly. Of my three surviving siblings only one now talks to me at all. They felt it was a betrayal and did not recognize my version of events. An entirely understandable reaction since from their point of view it was unrecognizable. The difference between us is that if one of them wrote about their childhood I would be fascinated: as it is my siblings are offended and claim not to have read the book. (The offence arose from publicity in the Sunday Times at time of publication). As well as all that one of my closest friends was shocked at my version of Ma as it did not square with his; and other friends felt embarrassed I revealed so much.
So was it worthwhile?
Yes, not least because I have had hundreds of readers letters which say very clearly that they recognize the fundamental truths I was expressing about emotionally abused childhoods and express relief finally to find someone else had experienced the kind of things they had. Just as unconditional love stays with a child always, so does unconditional loneliness and betrayal. I am glad – in fact I’m proud – that my book has reached into peoples’ hearts.
And yourself?
I live very near four of my six children and their mother who remains one of my best friends, all of which is an enormous pleasure. I live alone as my research and work makes me a poor live-in partner but one lives in hope! Meanwhile there are too many stories in my head to think about much else but the next one.
How do you sum things up?
In the end I’m just an entertainer sitting by the fireside telling a story. It’s a good place to be – and I am grateful that people want to sit down with me for a while and listen to my stories... whether thrillers like DARK HEARTS... or something as personal as BOY WITH NO SHOES... or (now) a great global fantasy like HYDDENWORLD which will take my latest heroes from the UK to Europe, from there to the Americas and then on to China and Australasia. It’s a challenging journey I’m loving and I hope my readers love it too...